As one woman, 70, recalls about going nuclear on her husband for secretly borrowing tens of thousands of dollars: “He said to me, ‘Don't I get credit for being faithful to you?’ And I said, ‘No! I would have much rather you had sex with an intern.
Such financial infidelity can damage a marriage just as much as the sexual type, if not more so. But infidelity can hit the pocketbook and wallet, too, when one spouse spends, borrows, withholds or hides money without telling his or her partner. When we think of infidelity, our minds go straight to the bedroom. Could she spare some cash to tide him over? He had $60,000 in credit card debt and might have to sell one of his prized guitars. But last year Andrew went to Lisa with a request. Very quietly, he had nearly wiped them out. He had borrowed against their home and run up $250,000 in credit card debt. Which is probably why that adviser waited until their finances were a dumpster fire before he called: “Lisa, do you know what your husband is doing?” Andrew had spent huge chunks of their savings on cars, guitars and charitable gifts. Money was her husband's domain, she made clear to their financial adviser. En español | Ten years have passed, and Lisa*, now 60, still asks herself, Why didn't I see it coming?Īt the time, she and her husband, Andrew, were living well: a spacious home in a Chicago suburb, overseas travel, a kid in private school.įor more than 15 years, Lisa, a successful doctor, had trusted the family finances to Andrew.
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